The Evolution of Happiness

If you would have asked me one year ago if I thought I would be celebrating Down syndrome Awareness Month with the ferocity and appreciation I have today, the answer would have been, “Hell no.” It’s amazing what can happen in a year. So much has changed, especially myself. For any mothers out there still struggling with the diagnosis, hang in there. Be patient and kind to yourself during your journey. I don’t know what the future holds, but I have learned to celebrate each day. Kids grow up way too fast. During Sienna’s first year of life, I chose to live in each moment. We conquered one challenge at a time and that way of thinking has translated into a higher quality of life for all of us. It’s a transition for which I am grateful.

As most of you know, last week I spoke with a group of students studying to become genetic counselors. One of the questions I was asked during their class was, “How have your dreams for your child’s future changed since her diagnosis?” It’s an insightful question and it forced me to dig deep. What dreams do I have for both of my kids and their future?

I thought about how I was feeling while I was pregnant with Sienna. It’s different with your second child. You already are aware of the sense of magic that comes with motherhood. You’re more selfless. You know the sacrifices you are going to have to make, and you’re prepared for them. Before Haley was born, I had dreams about her future. After she arrived, those dreams changed. They’re evolving every day based on what she wants out of life. The truth is her dreams belong to her, not me. All I want for her is happiness in life. I want her to do whatever it is that will bring her that. Whether she wants to be an astronaut, a makeup artist, a mom, an ice cream shop owner, or all of the above like she does now, I am going to give her the tools she needs in order to achieve those dreams.

Is that different for Sienna? I thought and thought on it, and I kept coming back to the same place. It is no different. Her dreams for the future will grow and change with each passing year and I will let her know that she is capable of doing anything. I will give her the tools to accomplish her dreams and I will stand on the sideline cheering her on, advocating for her all along the way. I will fight for both of my girls every day.

If you would have asked me 10 years ago if this is the direction I saw my life going, I would have laughed in your face. Would I be living in Pittsburgh? Ha, fat chance. Philadelphia is the best city in the world. Why would I leave here? Would I have quit my successful career in order to stay home and raise children? Ummmm, have we met before? I love working and I would never give that up. Would I be raising two girls, one with special needs? I can’t do that. I give people so much credit who can, but that’s not me. Also, I am going to be a boy mom. I’m a sports addict. I hate princesses. Well, here I am living this life we got (pun intended) and traveling this unexpected journey and guess what? I am happy. I am blessed. Being a mom to both of these girls enriches my life beyond my wildest dreams. One of my dreams in high school was to become a writer, and here I am pursuing a passion I had long displaced. My girls led me to this place and I am grateful to them for that.

Thank you for reading all of my posts on Facebook and Instagram this past month as we celebrated Down syndrome Awareness month. As we transition into November, I will be getting back to weekly blogging, still sharing stories about this life we got.

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