Kindness for the Win

Reflecting on this past month, I realize how challenging it will be to put into words the impact it has had on not only me, but my kids, and our community. Watch the video below for more perspective and be sure and read the rest of our post for more about our wonderful experiences this past month.

It all began with a trip to the store on a Saturday afternoon with my 5 year old, Haley. I had a list of items we needed to purchase in order to fulfill our 21 acts of kindness for the month. For those of you that don’t know, Sienna has 3 copies of her 21st chromosome. During October, one of the ways we celebrated her uniqueness was by performing 21 acts of kindness.

As Haley and I were driving to the store, I asked her what she thought we could do that would be kind. At first, the usual stuff came up. ‘Let’s make cookies for our neighbors. Can I have some too?’ Then I chose to dig a little deeper. Sometimes, I think we shelter our kids too much. I know I am guilty of it. We want to protect them. This was one of those times that I decided Haley was mature enough to handle reality. I asked her what she thought it meant to be homeless. We discussed the homeless men in our neighborhood that hold up signs asking for help. I love the innocence of children. Everything is so simple to them. ‘Why don’t they just get houses, Mommy?’ This led to a discussion on economics, war, and poverty.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, sometimes I am too transparent with Haley. I am too transparent with everyone. Just read my blog. She could handle it though. At first, she suggested giving them money. She even asked if Dada could give them jobs, since he had helped Uncle Dave get a job. I told her it wasn’t that simple, but that she was on the right track. I asked her, “If you were homeless, what are some things you might need?” We went up and down the aisles as she picked out t-shirts, water bottles, toothpaste, socks, coloring books, and deodorant (my suggestion). We walked around the store, going through our list, talking about how what we were doing was going to make other people happy. We were in WalMart (the epicenter of LOL dolls, Haley’s favorite toy), and as we walked by the toy section, she turned to me and said, “Getting an LOL doll isn’t about being kind to other people, so let’s not get one today.” My mouth dropped and I said, “Okay.”

We went home and made our treats. We dropped them off to neighbors and friends. The next day, Haley brought them into school along with flowers for her teachers. We spent an afternoon in a shopping center handing out flowers and Starbucks gift cards. People thanked us and one lady told Haley that she had made her whole day. We got in the car and Haley said, “Mommy, you are right. Doing things for other people does make me feel good.” She meant it. This whole experience has had a positive impact on Haley. She thinks about kindness often now. She isn’t perfect. She’s a kid, but this exercise opened the door to meaningful dialogue about the joy of giving.

For another act of kindness, we spent a morning at a local school reading our favorite Down syndrome advocacy book to a first grade class. I brought Haley along for the ride. I wanted to introduce her to the ways we can advocate for her sister. This also brought up some meaningful conversation. The concept of Down syndrome is really hard to grasp at 5 years old. She just knows that her sister does things at a slower pace, but she doesn’t care, because she’s her sister. When other kids ask why Sienna isn’t walking yet, it baffles Haley. One of the kids asked that question during our visit. That same question is always asked by her friends. When we got in the car, she said, “Why do people care so much about Sienna walking?” I explained that it is something that makes her different so sometimes people notice it, but that’s okay. We like different in our house, right? “Mommy, everybody is different. Nobody is the same. So, why does it matter?” Again, my kid is buddha. You want some insight? Spend an afternoon with a kindergartener.

We really did enjoy our time at that school. The kids were all scooting on the ground with Sienna at one point. They loved playing with our little spider monkey. We made tie dye socks and talked about their differences. I walked away feeling positive about the experience, but it is sometimes hard to tell if you are reaching kids. That night, I got home and had a message from a mom of a child we had read to that morning. It reaffirmed my belief that advocating on Sienna’s behalf is rewarding and meaningful. This mom said her little girl had fallen in love with Sienna. She wanted our mailing address to send a picture her daughter had made for Sienna. She thanked me for introducing differences to her daughter and said it opened the door to a powerful conversation.

Truly, I am just giving you the Cliff Notes version of this month. People have asked me if I make any money doing this blog. I don’t, but this month I feel I was paid far and above anything money could do for my soul. The feedback I have received in letters, messages, and emails have brought tears to my eyes and fulfillment to my heart. I have heard from other parents in our community, parents and siblings of adults with Down syndrome, students in the genetics counseling session I presented to, and people in general just thanking me for educating them and opening their eyes to the beauty of our unique life. So, I might not make any money doing this, but I will take payment in kindness any day. Thank you for following us and we hope you will continue to come back for more as we progress into the holidays.

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” -Maya Angelou

Here are some highlights from our month.

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